Category: Sports

How to Destroy a Basketball Team Completely (And Still Keep Your Job)

In an NBA offseason that was surrounded by more shocking headlines than possibly any other in history, the most bizarre news of them all came an hour before the new season tipped off. NBA insider Shams Charania reported that two Chicago Bulls players, Bobby Portis and Nikola Mirotić, were involved in an altercation in practice… Read more »

Baseball Has More Home Runs Than Ever—And Is Better For It

The Major League Baseball (MLB) playoffs are in full swing, which means we get a full dose of meaningless baseballisms. Pitching wins championships! Bunt the runner over! Grumble grumble CLUTCH grumble FUNDAMENTALS grumble grumble. For more than a century, these dictums have outlined the way to win important baseball games; a “smart” team will string… Read more »

The Dodgers are the Best Team No One Can Watch

Despite a horrific stretch of play over the past month, the Los Angeles Dodgers are sitting pretty with a 99-57 record, nine games ahead of their closest competitor in the National League West. Fangraphs’ projections have them ending the season with over a hundred wins and the best record in Major League Baseball. Those same… Read more »

Does Major League Baseball Need A Salary Cap?

Major League Baseball is the last holdout in a sports landscape dominated by salary caps. The NBA installed one in 1984, and the NFL followed suit a decade later. The NHL was the most recent adopter, instituting a cap in 2005. If history is any guide, there will be an MLB salary cap within our… Read more »

Conflicts of Interest and the NBA’s Collective Bargaining Agreement

Note: this article is a follow-up to an article I wrote about the Collective Bargaining Agreement negotiations between the NBA and the Players Association, which can be read here. This past January, the National Basketball Association (NBA) and the National Basketball Players Association (NBPA) peacefully ratified a new collective bargaining agreement, to the great relief… Read more »

Roaring to the Finals: Why the Raptors Can Upset Cleveland

Friends, I come bearing good news: April has come. You had to spend the last three weeks watching bricked free throws and horrifying midrange jumpers. Worst of all, you had to pretend to enjoy it, using gambling to trick yourself into an emotional investment. The pain is over. The playoffs are here. This article is… Read more »

Barca’s Comeback Is Further Proof That We Are Living in a Computer Simulation

  What a night in the world of soccer. On Wednesday, F.C. Barcelona actually erased a 4–0 first leg deficit to knock off Paris-Saint Germain 6–1 at home and advance to the Champions League Quarterfinals. No team has ever come back from four goals down in the knockout round of the Champions League, but Barcelona… Read more »

Demarcus Cousins and the Power of Unintended Consequences

On February 19, Demarcus Cousins was traded from the Sacramento Kings to the New Orleans Pelicans. Cousins is, by consensus, a top player in the NBA. Indeed, he is one of the most talented scoring centers the game has seen in years. Yet, for a multitude of reasons, the Kings felt obligated to trade him…. Read more »

Light Years Behind: The History Lesson Edition

Welcome to the third installment of Light Years Behind, a (hopefully) weekly look into the National Basketball Association. Editor’s Note: if you come here expecting the in-depth analysis offered elsewhere at the Bowdoin Globalist, then PROCEED NO FURTHER. What follows is an exercise in whimsical nonsense. Mo Williams Transactions: An Oral History After opting into… Read more »

Light Years Behind: All-Star Edition

Welcome to the first installment of Light Years Behind, a (hopefully) weekly look into the National Basketball Association. Editor’s Note: if you come here expecting the in-depth analysis offered elsewhere at the Bowdoin Globalist, then PROCEED NO FURTHER. What follows is an exercise in whimsical nonsense. Which NBA Players Embarrass Themselves the Most? A Completely… Read more »